


An Antagonist's Life

by pampers



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Slow Burn, haha help, idk what to tag, like reaally slow, like snail
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28604442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pampers/pseuds/pampers
Summary: "I'm hard China," His voice drawled in usual bored tone, "Do something about it."Kagura gritted her teeth, "How about you let my hard fist slam into your dick?"He laughed before walking away, waving a hand at her. Because he has finally ruined her day, he already filled his sick sadistic quota for today. No scratch that, Okita Sougo's sadistic quota can never be filled.
Relationships: Kagura/Okita Sougo
Comments: 9
Kudos: 22





	1. Simply Wicked

*******

Kagura lowered her shades before scanning her eyes on the park, sky blue irises looking for a particular target amongst the crowd. Though she hated Gin for accepting this job and dumping it on her-- she really can't deny there's a little part of her, the one that screams to be a little vixen, wants to ruin the love life of people she didn't even know.

Bingo! She glanced at the man walking towards the fountain with a girl holding his hand. How sweet, she snickered placing a hand on her lips as her eyes screamed sadism.

Kagura fixed her red dress as she gracefully walked towards her unsuspecting victims, when she's at an arm length, she smiled, clung herself onto the man's arm (she might have to use 100% germ-killing alcohol for that disgusting gesture towards the equally disgusting man), and said using her sweet cheery voice even going as far as removing her 'aru' accent, "Babe!" She giggled, "I didn't know you were here already!"

"Babe?!" The woman almost screeched, no scratch that, the woman did screech, tearing her hand from her boyfriend. Kagura felt the laugh bubbling up to her tummy, threatening to escape from her lungs, she even had to bite her lip and puff her cheeks.

Kagura put on her confused face, "Babe, who is she?" She innocently asked, "Your sister?" 

"M-miss! Are you out of your mind?!" She could clearly see the bewilderment on the man as he was thrown into chaos and scrambled to pry her hands off him. Too bad he can't though. Kagura inwardly smirked, she was having way too much fun with this. She looked at him, finally looked at him. Black hair and brown eyes, he actually has looks, just ugly though.

Putting on another act she cried, "After what we've done last night you're just gonna act as if nothing happened?!" She gripped on his arm tighter, there were also tears running down her eyes for extra effects, "Why are you like this?" She sobbed, voice quieter than the wind but slaps harder that a goddamn tornado.

At this point the woman was fuming with anger, face that would put ripe tomatoes to shame, she looked like a volcano ready to erupt.

And she did erupt.

"You asshole!" She screamed before slapping the man, then she punched him next in a second. Well, that was surprising, Kagura only half-expected the woman to walk out on them. She punched rather hard too, Kagura swears she really heard his jaw breaking.

After a few minutes of the man checking his jaw and contemplating his entire existence he punched the woman back. At this point it was a full out brawl.

Getting farther away from the crime scene-- fight scene, she meant, because it just became the life of the park, she let out her laugh. She did not sound in the least bit evil.

She sauntered out of the park with a skip in her step and happy hum under her breath. Until someone made himself known just by passing her peripheral view, he shouldn't have. He was the other target. She smiled, the one she thinks that is innocent but is really oozing with viciousness and inhumanity.

He's casually leaning against a tree, and he just looks plain ugly. He looks like a drug smuggler. He's holding a Starbucks Java Chip Frappuccino, take note, he even held the cup in a way to show the logo. That's obviously because he could only buy it once a year, yes?

When he saw her striding towards him, he immediately smirked and winked. Kagura was really close to bashing his face in the tree and let him hump it. But she instantly felt sorry for the poor tree when the idea crossed her mind.

"Would you like to play with me tonight?" _Sure, if you let Sadaharu piss on you and oh-- let me spit on you here and now too_. Kagura wanted to say but she decided against it, there were oh so many ways to humiliate, and apparently, she knew them all.

She grabbed him closer and he smiled like a fool, if only he could hold his smile when her foot connected straight to his shin, and the saliva building in her mouth actually helped her as her spit could rival a fucking fountain. Taking his cup before it spills to the grass and be wasted, she grab a hold of it and dutifully spilled the contents in his already ugly mug, making sure not one drop spills. He should really be thankful that its iced, otherwise his skin would've burned.

Just like the event before, she walked away as if she did nothing wrong. They deserved it anyway, the first target was their client's past boyfriend, and the feeling casanova guy from before raped her. She was sold to that guy by his own boyfriend. If she was feeling a tiny bit of guilt then it was washed away by anger and disgust. She actually felt like she was going to vomit. 

"Mission accomplished." She said to herself, releasing the first true smile she could give for the day. With that she went on and spotted Gin's car, releasing a sigh she jumped and plotted herself like a tomato right in the backseat.

"Good work, Kagura." Gin praised patting her head with snot covered fingers, while Shinpachi fretted like a mother hen at the wheel. Muttering about why Gin let her do illegal things.

"Are we going home now?" He asked and both Kagura and Gin only looked at him with deadpan eyes while their pinky is stuck on their noses.

"No, we'll take a walk in the car, it's so wide inside we should've built a swing in the back seat don't you think?" She rolled her eyes, "Obviously you're going to drive us home!"

"Geez! I was just asking! You don't need to be sarcastic about it!" Shinpachi exclaimed before starting the engine.

Kagura was okay with this, the Yorozuya helping and ruining people's lives, and her being in control with a streak of sadistic tendencies.

It was fine then, until she met the self renowned Prince of the Planet of Sadists himself, Okita fucking Sougo. 

She still remembers his first words directed right at her, "Since when did they built a wall here?" His hands gripped her waist and even had the fucking audacity to pinch her stomach. "What the hell did you say?!" Was her first words to him, certainly the worst first meeting.

"Ah it's just a fat belly, it suddenly bounced. I almost thought it was a wall with how wide you can block the road." 

Her jaw dropped, mouth agape as she just stood there unmoving. Fat? Did this asshole just call her fat?! She's sexier than a goddamn Victoria's Secret model!! 

"Will you move aside or should I use a bulldozer for your wide stomach?"

She was still motionless. She couldn't comprehend this jerk! She still couldn't believe what the fuck did he just said to her, couldn't believe she had just lost an argument. 

He roughly pushed aside her statued body, and when she finally gained more brain cells she screamed at his disappearing figure.

"Fuck you Demonic Asshole!" 

Kagura really thinks he's the reincarnation of Satan himself. And she's sure she should really start to do some good deeds so she could go to heaven because she's a hundred percent sure that demonic asshole will fall in hell.

*******


	2. Bet on It

*******

When they finally reached their house, it was a two story house a few blocks away from the Yorozuya office equipped with the latest modern protection. Like that of the Shimura household primarily for stalker elimination, except theirs wasn't for that purpose. Do not even ask where they got the money. Kagura was more than ready to plop into her soft bed and cultivate herself as a healthy couch potato.

But luck was never in her way, even when she was just a cute little child. 

"Hey Kagura," Gin called out in his ugly sing sung voice whilst she pretended not to hear, she closed her eyes shut as her legs wobbled before she decided to just give it up and dive headfirst into the floor, "You can't be dying now we've got a job you brat." She heard him say. He also said something about the glasses stand already going home but because it's an unimportant glasses stand she really didn't pay attention.

Gin kicked her at first, but she would never ever fucking budge. She's determined to plant herself on the floor and grow as a couch potato. Until he started to stomp on her and straight out thrash her body with his foot.

"Goddammit Gin-chan what was that for?!" She yelled before assaulting him back as if trying to punch a hole in his gut. "I'm gonna stick your wooden sword so far up your ass it's gonna come out of your mouth, uh huh!"

But before she could even start, he pulled out sokonbu from his pockets and threw it right outside, she involuntarily reacted to the snack and chased after it. Oh how she hated her instinct towards food and how Gin always uses it to his advantage.

She heard him snicker at her snarl when she munched on a piece and he patted her head before they went inside his car and drove towards the Yorozuya office.

And to both of their surprise, the client was her bestfriend, sister of the CEO of the highest ranking company of Japan. Kagura could almost, no she could really see Gin's eyes turn into dollar signs.

They went inside and Kagura planted herself onto the couch once more, "So, what can we do for the princess?" Gin questioned. Soyo cleared her throat before answering, "Well you see, a very important relative of ours is in love with Okita Sougo." 

"So who's this October Salmon and what do we have to do to him?" Kagura asked, tone flat and face looking bored as fuck, as much as she loves Soyo she just wanted this to get over with.

"It's Okita Sougo, Kagura-chan." Soyo replied.

"Same difference."

"So how much's the pay?" And obviously that was Gin still being desperate for cash. Kagura could even say he was willing to sell her and Shinpachi at the black market for the right amount of money. Soyo smiled, "How much do you want?" Yes, that was it. Kagura was pretty damn sure Gin would accept the job and force them into it with the princess' bargain.

"The job is quite simple, you just need to get information about Okita Sougo, his favorite color, sexual preferences, favorite position, kinks--"

"The way it started off from his favorite color to his disgusting perverted fantasies surprise me."

"Well, anyway, information. Our relative wants to fine-tune her personality to match his."

"So in the end you just want us to stalk him? Why not just ask him directly."

"And ask him directly you will do." Soyo finished pointing a finger at her with a smile, "He's currently hiring maids."

It was maybe because Kagura was really tired that her instincts didn't even bother to warn her that this will be the start of war.

*******

"Hey Sougo," He paid no mind to Hijikata's annoying voice and continued to sharpen his sword, "Since we're leaving this villa to you Kondou-san suggested you hire a maid."

"Good idea, I'll keep that in mind." He really did keep it in his mind as for how could he humiliate and inflict pain on his future maids, come to think of it, having a maid means having human dog too. They can bark for him, ah how many days would it take to train? How many maids should he hire?

"Goddammit Sougo I can almost hear your sadistic thoughts from here!" Hijikata sighed placing a cigarette in between chapped lips, "Whatever. Just do your sadistic habits and fulfill your sick maid fantasies when we finally leave."

"Yeah, yeah. I hope you leave this earth Hijikata."

Before the man could take a step a run a full sprint ten meter distance away from the notorious Sadist, he spoke, "Well, since it's your idea go post a sign outside."

"Wait me? Why me?" The chain smoker asked in disbelief pointing a finger towards himself.

"Your idea, your action process. Now go."

"I told you it was Kondou-san who suggested it! I--"

"Then go tell the gorilla-- I mean Kondou-san."

Hijikata sighed, there was no way of negotiation with this fool. He feels as if all his black locks will turn white by just having a conversation with him.

_Day 1: Interview_

"Why do you deserve to be the maid of our astonishing marble floored and glassed walled villa?" Sougo asked the first applicant, he has such a beautiful question, then how about the face of the applicant? Just never mind because you could really roll your eyes.

"Because I work hard sir--"

Before the monster-- the applicant, could even continue he cut her off, "If you were hard working then you should have already been rich, then why the hell are you applying as a maid?"

"W-well... I, umm. I can follow all your orders sir!" She determinedly stated.

Sougo smirked, "Going by your words, run out of the gate and make sure I will never see your face again."

"Sir--"

"Next please. You, get the hell out." He smiled at her.

And that as how the whole interview continued. No one was able to handle both his sadism and antagonism. 

"Uhm, Sougo don't you think you're being too hard on the applicants?" Kondou asked him as the last one for the day left the door with tears, snot and all. "Do you want me to be the evaluator for tomorrow's interview?" 

Though Sougo didn't want the maids to be somewhat a copy of Tae Shimura or some random homo who has a backstory of losing his father and needing the money to look for him as well as take care of thirteen siblings, he does have some other things to do and today just being a complete copy of events for tomorrow was no fun.

"Sure, I have other things to do anyway."

_Day 2: Interview_

It was a good day for Okita, really. He had managed to ruin at least about ten lives, though he did wish he could just ruin all of Hijikata's lives in every timeline. It was really a fun life being born as a pure sadist. 

But his temporary elation was plummeted down the ground, burned, and turn into ashes. His eyes widened a fraction when he went inside, the house was basically full of white and black frills and a huge amount of ugliness.

"What the hell?!"

"Good evening sir." A maid came to greet him with fake cat ears and the most ugly chin he has ever seen, "Don't sir me, fucking insect. Distance yourself and stay the fuck away from me, you didn't even inform us that you're carrying a deadly weapon. I might get pierced with your chin and it'll be the death of me."

Koundo came down from upstairs beaming like a Minecraft beacon, "Sougo are you happy? Look we have so many maids!" He smiled walking towards him. Godfuckingdammit almost half of them were brunettes! Everyone knows blondes are more attractive!

Sougo paid the gorilla no mind and turned his gaze towards the sea of maids, "All of you! You're all fired! Get the fuck out!" He yelled, and they did seem to be scared as they scrambled out of the house, and out of the villa too. After some beats of silence a maid came running in.

"Fire?! Where's the fire!?" She screamed biting her nails and looking really panicked. If Sougo wasn't too stressed and angry he would've probably noticed her unorthodox vermilion hair, but no he was too focused on his boiling anger and her overflowing stupidity.

"You too, idiot! You leave as well!" He hissed running a hand trough his ashen brown tresses.

"If I were to leave now do I need to get all my belongings too?"

"Obviously!" He screamed.

"Am I still gonna go back if I leave now?"

This girl is really threatening his patience. And he has none.

"Of course not you idiot!" He yelled once more.

"Am I gonna leave with the maid uniform or--"

"Fuck it, just stay! I'm getting migraine just by your stupidity!" He rubbed the side of his temples because he could really feel the migraine coming whilst the maid just shrugged going back into the kitchen.

"Hey!" He called out to her before she inclined her head to look at him, but godfuckingdammit she's a pretty little thing and he wasn't prepared for that, but it's okay cause she's a godfuckingdammit idiot. "What's your name?" He asked.

"You mean me?" She asked pointing at herself, he resisted the urge to take the knife in her hands and stab it in her head hoping that if he did she would grow some brain.

"No," He rolled his eyes instead, "I'm asking the knife if he can walk and stab the hearts of every fucking idiot." He sarcastically added.

"Good luck with that sir, as far as I know knives don't talk." 

His draw dropped.

"WHAT 'AS FAR AS I KNOW'? YOU KNOW NOTHING! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT I'M CALLING YOU DIMWIT FROM NOW ON!"

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, at first it started of as if Sougo ruined Kagura's life-- but our girl pulled the uno reverse card. See you next time that I'm drunk!! Btw, the gintama movie I-- I can't. I just can't watch it yet I'm not prepared.

**Author's Note:**

> Um hi. I may or may not be drunk on coffee and high on caffeine when I wrote this so yeah. Not proofread. Idk what I was writing and-- just lmao.


End file.
